This site was quiet and offline for a long time.
Not because the questions it explores stopped mattering to me, but because my life became full, demanding, and very real.
In the years Aristocrats of the Soul was offline, I became a mother. I worked long hours—often from early morning until late at night—between having a job while also fulfilling the duties of a stay-at-home-mom. My marriage became increasingly difficult, leading to an eventual divorce.
Writing did not disappear during that time, but it changed shape. Much of it became practical: my day job, documentation, self-reflection, journaling. The type of writing on Aristocrats of the Soul—which asks larger questions and at times requires extensive research and reading—had to be put on hold.
I spent years in survival mode, doing what was necessary rather than what was contemplative. In the framework of Maslow’s pyramid of the hierarchy of needs, I was operating at the base levels regarding safety and shelter for myself and my child, followed by extensive court battles. My interests in Thelema, Aleister Crowley, and paganism were brought up in court documents, and Aristocrats of the Soul‘s content was threatened to be weaponized against me in a potential custody battle. This led me to feel it was safer to delete the site, rather than risk my spiritual and academic pursuits potentially impacting my ability to be with my child.
Fortunately, I am now back to a peaceful home life, with time once again to pursue writing, as well as other hobbies like painting, reading, running, skiing, hiking, yoga, gardening, and being with wonderful friends, my child and other family. This site is back now because after a long journey and transformation, I once again have safety and room for reflection.
The essays here are not attempts to curate a personal brand or offer any firm conclusions. They are part of an ongoing effort to understand how one might live well—ethically, spiritually, and aesthetically—within a modern culture that often seems to undermine those aims.
Some of my older posts remain as they were originally written; others will be revised, expanded, or contextualized over time. While I have backdated most of my original posts, I don’t always have the exact date of their original publication. New writing will be added gradually, given that this is not a relaunch built around momentum or consistency, but simply a return to my favorite long-term intellectual and spiritual passion.
If you’ve read this site before, welcome back.
If you’re new here, I hope you find something that helps you think more clearly about the kind of life you want to live, the structures that make such a life possible, as well as new books and ideas to explore.